Today, I had an interesting Facebook conversation with a friend. During the exchange the typical question from one single female to another came up….”where are all the attractive good men?” The response I gave her sums up the belief of 80% of the entire world population…with Unicorns in Fantasyland. Now, before the fellas start getting all defensive and reply “but I am a good man and I have issues finding a good attractive woman”, I will say to you that the person you described is also in Fantasyland riding Unicorns. I am not downing the quality of the population, but I am downing our expectations.
For instance, when two females converse about a “good man” they are never talking about the same guy. It is easier to find a specific guy they would both date, than it is to have the two women to list the same attributes they would consider to have a hypothetical “good guy” to have. Female number one may say she is looking for a guy with a good job, a house, and a car. Female number two may say she is looking for a guy with a career, his own house, and his own car. I am not saying that all females fall into one of the two categories, but I am saying that woman are never looking for the same type of guy. When you attempt to call a guy “good” you are comparing him to a standard when there never was one set to begin with. 
Now for the fellas.. You say you are looking for a good woman. Do you define a good woman as being “independent” ? You are probably the same guy that has issues finding a woman that “allows you to be a man” and pull your own weight. Do you define a “good woman” a woman that cooks like a chef and cleans like a maid? They you probably get bored of the “home body” woman and hit the streets with the fellas every once in awhile. Often times the woman you are looking for turns you off when you get her. 
For all of the people out there that classified themselves as “good”, remember you are not perfect. Can you honestly say
- you committed to the person that placed the most time and energy into you?
- you did not string someone along just because you wanted to kill time?
- you treated everyone you ever “kinda dated” with the utmost respect (in their opinion, not your world)?
- you did not have one foot in and one foot out while seeing/sleeping with/hanging out with someone?
- you did not use someone just for sex/to kill time/to see if you “got it”?
- you did not pursue other prospects while keeping someone in limbo? (yes online counts)
If you cannot say that you did ALL of the above, then you are NOT a “good catch”.
Now that we have the the “attraction” factor. We are all not attracted to the same thing. Men think women are haters when we call a woman “unattractive”, but that is because men will find a way to make a woman that looks like a gremlin look good. I have heard some guys say “she may look like a gremlin, but she has nice hair”. Women, on the other hand, tend to have the “typical” type of guy they go for. That is why it is so common to find out that a man cheated on a woman and the scenario usually does not happen in reverse unless there are serious compatibility issues mentally. In other words, it is not easier for either sex. Just because a man finds a woman attractive, she is not obligated to return the attraction.
When you gather all these factors in and mix them all together, you get our current state…people angry about an emotion that should make everyone happy.
What’s the odds you can have everything? They are the same odds as finding a Unicorn.
On the plus side there has been a real Unicorn sighting…so all is not lost!
This is what twitter thought…and you can vote as well
I have been a few places, seen a lot of things. I have had my hands in many fields. I may have answers for you if you have questions...even if you don't.
i read your post. and i do believe a good mate is hard to find. ive been most of the things listed in the post, but thats when i wasnt really lookin hard for a mate. now that i am, its not easy. of cource i most recently ended a relationship with a good man that had alot of issues. he had awesome qualities and really knew how to handle his business as a Man, but his trust issues and insecurity issues was a big big ptoblem and, was a huge barrier that just couldnt be broken down. its sad bcuz if he could decide to deal with his serious issues, the realtionship would have been easier. (sigh)
The sad thing is your timing was off with the previous potential suitors. For instance, if you would have met your ex earlier in life, he may nit have gone through whatever he did to give him those insecurity issues, but you may have played him.
The sad thing is your timing was off with the previous potential suitors. For instance, if you would have met your ex earlier in life, he may nit have gone through whatever he did to give him those insecurity issues, but you may have played him.
it is especially hard in the fast and limitless option society we live in today that always promotes upgrading your career, possessions, relationships etc. and Q, youre right, timing is everything, both people that i have been serious with since being an adult, i think if we would have met after the age of 30, things may have worked out differently.
it is especially hard in the fast and limitless option society we live in today that always promotes upgrading your career, possessions, relationships etc. and Q, youre right, timing is everything, both people that i have been serious with since being an adult, i think if we would have met after the age of 30, things may have worked out differently.
if it was a few years ago while i was on the loose… i might have played him, but then again those good qualities stood out so much i wouldnt want to mess it up with a guy like that. but you are right… timeing is everything. and it is too bad