We simply do NOT stick together..
I recently had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine. She took a trip over seas, the family of the guy she was with kept asking when they were going to get married. The people on the island saw the couple realy cared about eachother and many of the older folks there offered advice.
1- do not marry for looks (including race).
“You need to marry someone just as smart as you…better yet smarter is the key if you are a male. Looks fade, enjoyable convo never dies.”
2- marry your best friend.
“..times are hard and so is life. You never know what will happen down the line. She could end up with cancer, and he could end up unable to walk. You have to have a partner willing to stick with you during the bad times that you two cannot control. Staying through infidelity is one thing, fighting a long term illness is another.”
They also asked the couple about their living situation
“You two have your own houses? That doesn’t make any sense…I guess only in America”
This was told to me on the heels of the news coverage where Jessie “I have a baby mama myself” Jackson, is saying he wants to “cut off the nuts of” Obama.
Obama made headlines by talking to the black race and telling the men that they need to step up. According to http://singleblackparents.com/ 63% of African-American households are headed by a single parent, and the vast majority is headed by women.
Being a single parent is not easy. I had a previous boss say that it was an easy job (mind you he was married). I have heard men complain about child support (must be nice to be able to take care of your child when you feel like it). I have even heard men say that black women are angry (can you imagine being the back bone to a person only to have them leave you when they get on their feet and come back once what they had crumbled).
Black women are always told by everyone around them that they are not as good as the women of the fairer skinned races, yet when it comes down to problem solving they are the first ones called. We have self esteem issues. We tend to do destructive things to ourselves, including knocking eachother down. Not only do we have the majority looking down on us, we are tearing eachother down. We fight about everything skin complexion, hair, marital status, children, work ethic, health, sex, and honesty. Strange how those are the same issues the world looks down on us over.
We do not even realize that we are making ourselves victims of the black tax often talked about. We not only have to work twice as hard to the outside world, we have to work four times as hard within our own group. A woman can be your rock, but the moment her underwear doesn’t match her man is chasing “Becky” or “Rosa” saying how they are so much better. A man can be the head of a house hold, but feel slighted due to his lack of praise. A black father doing what’s right gets the short end of the stick. Thanks to the absentee fathers, we don’t believe that the real fathers exist in our society.
We simply have too many options. Everything in life is about presentation and if the outside world does not place you in a positive light regardless of how much you do, you will never get that man, job, or promotion. We need to air our dirty laundry and clean it. Obama saw that. Jessie just likes the water to stay soiled so that no matter how much you wash in it, you will never be presentable.