I really tried not to touch this subject. This is a very ugly and unfortunate situation to be in. As most of you know I have used this site to put out there to other parents going through raising a disabled child that they are not alone. Sadly, due to the increasing amount of minority fathers not willing to take responsibility for their children, I do have to address this subject. I know many of my readers will take offense…especially those that believe that the courts cannot tell you how much to spend on your child. I really try to stay away from subjects that will draw attention to how messed up a lot of minority families are…but this cannot be ignored any more. I often hear the sob stories of the fathers that claim their child support is too high. Fathers paying about $100 a week complain that the payments being taken out from their checks hurt them. Newsflash buddy- Day Care alone is on average $125 – $150 a week. The parent actually raising the child has to pay that PLUS any bill that child is involved in. A child needs electricity, a roof over their heads,food, clothes, check ups (which not only generates bills from the doctors, it also eats away from the RESPONSIBLE parents time from work), day care, meetings (after school activities, parent teacher conferences), and someone to care for them when they get sick or injured. If you hired a nanny to do all of these services, the annual salary for taking care of the day care, doctor appointments, feeding the children would be … well lets look at the scale provided by PayScale.com Going off this scale, I should be paid $489.60 a week. $25,259.20 a year. My son will be 9 this year. This estimate is strictly based off nanny duties ALONE. Medical bills have not been taken into consideration.
Fathers trying to write off the value of a single mother’s time will say “you have to do that, you are a volunteer and should not expect a value placed on your efforts”…luckily for everyone involved, The “Urban Institute” did it for us
Until things change and
- companies stop paying men more than women, strictly because of their sex
- companies stop penalizing mothers by not hiring them or terminating them when they are active in their child’s education/health
- you are allowed to write your time off on your taxes for providing advocate services for your child
I will NEVER sympathize with a father not wanting to pay child support.
When I hear minority men say “No court should be allowed to tell me how much to pay for my child”, I want to laugh. Often times 90% of a mother’s LIFE is dedicated to her child…and you are complaining about 40% or less of your check going to that child. Here are a few pointers…
- If you are not ready for the responsibility of children, then strap up! it kills me when a man has more than one child with more than one woman, and then complain about child support. Having another child does not help your situation.
- If you dodge the courts, it will come back to haunt you. If you are consistently requesting decreases of your support, turning in doctored pay stubs, and not filing taxes it will bite you in the rear.
- Stalking, threatening, or harming the mother or the child will get you in more trouble. Attempting to control or restrict the family you left behind or let down in any fashion will not help your case.
- Just pay your support. Quitting your job, choosing jail time, or repeatedly requesting decreases will just hurt you. As children get older, the cost of living does not go down. The more times you drag her in to court, the more opportunities the mother has to present more bills. Believe me, mom would not have the time to ask for an increase unless forced.
- Obviously the courts have to tell you that a child cannot live for free…deal with it. No (sane) woman would want to make a child and be a single parent. If you cheated, abused the mom or child, or simply walked away; you cannot hold a grudge against the mother for moving on and providing a life for that child. Get over yourself.
In April 2004, music and fashion mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs was ordered to pay the mother of his first child, Misa Hylton-Brim, just under $35,000 per month in child support — the largest amount awarded in New York state history. “A court doesn’t tell me what to do to support my child,” a heated Combs said to the NY Daily News after the verdict. “This is not about child support, it’s about adult support.”
-Taken from “BlackVoices.com
Stop being a douche. You want to run around living a high profile life and exposing your child to the media. When you become a public figure, you have a higher chance of attracting stalkers. Stop flashing your children like rings and maybe security would not be necessary. Try having a normal family by staying committed to the person you have children with.
PS- stop changing your effin name.
That’s all for tonight…
and for all of you fathers that this pissed off…bring it.